"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten."

-B.F. Skinner

Life just keeps on truckin' along.

My "horoscope" (i put it in parenthesis because it's in our college newspaper and they're made up by the photo editer guy who just works at the paper...not exactly legitimate...because all other horoscopes are TOTALLY reliable) in yesterday's paper told me to just keep on truckin, unless while truckin I encountered flashing lights and sirens, cuz then it would probably be a good idea to cease truckin. I think that's a pretty good, solid outlook on life, if I do say so myself.

So here is life. It's doin' just fine. I find myself in a pretty sturdy, easy going kind of flow of things. Which, although secure and reliable, isn't necessarily always the best. I've found out about myself in the last year that I need to have excitement. I need to have something to change it up every couple of months or so, otherwise I start on this weird, slow downward slope. It's not depression or anything, but just boredom, I guess. Boredom and lack of motivation, and general blahness. And I've come to honestly realize that life is too short and too meaningful and too personal to let that happen to me. Because why should I? There's just no reason.

So anyway, if anyone has any ideas about how to mix up my life, I'd love to hear them! I'm doin pretty good about now, so need to worry or anything. Just getting ready for a change.

And on that note, there is something that has been happening a little bit in my life recently. And I think most people who read this know about it already, but in the interest of honesty and full disclosure, here it is. So there's this boy. I like this boy. He's neat. His name is Shyam. And he might end up reading this at some point...so that's cool. Hey Shyam, if you're reading this. Have fun reading about yourself.

But anyway me and Shyam are officially "seeing each other," as he likes to put it. Well now I think we're actually each other's "person." There's no labels or anything yet, but we like each other, and enjoy spending time with each other, and as of right now are just going with the flow of that. Unfortunately we don't spend very MUCH time together (kind of my fault), so the flow doesn't really get to move along very fast. But we'll see. We like each other. And that's good enough for now. :)

Other than that, life is pretty much made up of finishing up classes and working. I'm going to start getting more free time with the winter break, so that will be awesome. I'm ready to just relax, spend time with the roommates (slash best friends) and the couch (slash tv). Life is pretty darn alright.

More than thankful.

I thank.

I thank everything and everyone for all that I am today. Thanksgiving, the day, has come and gone, and I of course felt very good to be spending it with family and good food and all that. And I expressed and thought about all that I was thankful for yesterday. But now I am just thinking about how truly and really thankful I actually am. I honestly feel like I owe the world, my world, to you guys. To the people who love me, who put up with me, who give themselves to me, and in turn get part of me back. I have done a lot of soul searching in the last year, and I have come to realize how important it is to live for myself and always be sure that I am doing exactly what I want and need to be doing at that moment. But what I learned is that what I want to do and be will never be disconnected from the people that I am with. It is the people in my life that really ARE my life. My life and my plans and my being are the pattern, but it is all of you that provide the fabric, the stitching, and the backing of my life quilt. I know I must do what I love, but it is you guys who have helped me to discover what that is. What I am passionate about.

My mom has taught me strength and the undying ability to just. keep. going. Dad has given me excitement and innocence. I feel like if he's around, I can always still be the little girl that I am. Cory has shown me what compassion really is, and that there really are people in the world who would give their life for each other. Bethany has taught me love, and made me realize just how much people care about me, even when I wouldn't expect it. From Quint I learned thick skin, and how to protect myself when no one else will. I've learned individuality from Colleen and how essential it is to figure out what you want and love, and then do it. And Kate has made me understand selflessness, and what it means to do something that is really and truly only for someone else's betterment.

And that's only the people in my immediate family and my two best friends who really ARE family. I could go on and on and on about all the endless numbers of people who have had an effect on my life. I'm thankful for every single one of you who have entered it, left a mark, changed it just that little bit, and then left. I can't begin to describe what that has meant to me, because I'm not even sure that I've begun to understand it. I'm just overwhelmed with how much of me is really outside of ME.

I just thank.

DUMB.

So, my computer is once again in the shop. I'm so sick of it being shitty! The audio chip is broken, so I couldn't listen to any sound (meaning no music). I was just living with it until I got enough money to fix it, but then on Friday I lost my ipod. So now I have no way to listen to any music, which for me is a big problem. I LIVE on music. If I could have a soundtrack for my life, wherever I go, I would. Music just makes my life more rich. So I was unwilling to keep living with the problem, and I feel like fixing my computer is more efficient than buying a new ipod. (but ipod is definitely on my christmas list now!) So....I don't really even have enough money for the computer, since I'm having to take it out of savings. And even then, I'm not sure there's enough...so we'll see what happens there. A;lKfjdsd;lsakjfd;la. I fucking hate money. It's dumb. 

DUMB.

LOVE it.

I love it when boys blatently stare at my chest.

(I mean, I probably would too...)

A toast, some tears, and joy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELISABETH!! You're like a little sister to me, and I know that the years to come will be as wonderfully productive and beautiful as the first 18. (and I mean, what can be more wonderfully productive than legality?) Alright, so she doesn't read this...but you know. Whatev. Pass it along Colleen!

Tonight I attended a FABULOUS concert. I saw Ingrid Michaelson, with two opening acts which were both quite impressive. And then Ingrid was just delightful. I love her music. It's playful while managing to have a message. Which if anyone knows me and my music taste is exactly what I look for. I love it. It just plain makes you feel good, you know? About life, about yourself, about the world around you, and about the moment you're in. Plus, she's adorable with a little sass. And I think you'd totally be in love with her, Cory, if you saw her live. Just an FYI.

The days have been running by without trouble. Which is enough in and of itself. This weekend was good. I spent another night with that one boy. I'm liking him more and more every time, but it's still just so much more subtle than I've ever felt. I just don't really know how to go about things. I feel A LITTLE bit bad about how I handled the night...what exactly defines a tease and how bad is it? But I'd rather be a tease than a slut, right? Right. I'll make up for it later :) (And yes, I do remember that you read this Mom).

School and work are fine. I love my kids still. I still have issues with the way I HAVE to handle certain things, but the kids are the heart and soul of the job. They're excellent. Media center is...media center. Mindless enough to be easy but not boring. Plus I have this theory that sitting behind a desk makes me look hot, cuz I ALWAYS get hit on there. So that's just convenient.

I love you all. And if I haven't seen you in awhile, let's fix that. I remember that being THE BIGGEST lesson I learned from my trip - the people in your life ARE your life. Make them your priority. So I want you all to know that you are my priority. And I want to know that you are my priority. So let's make that happen.

The reason I started this blog...

Ok, so the reason I started this blog was because I wanted a place to tell everyone I love about the things that make me happy. And one thing in particular sparked my interest:

I am SO excited that Starbucks has its holiday cups out!! It has made my week seeing them around campus.

That's all.